And finally the truth
by lullabymoon
Summary: Delenn tells John about the begining of the EarthMinbari war
1. Chapter one

**And finally the truth**

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I don't own anything associated with Babylon 5

A/N: Just a little fic that came to me when I was supposed to be studying chemistry.

Summary: Delenn tells John about the beginning of the Earth-Minbari war

* * *

She cries out in the night. In her dreams she replays her mistakes and the war begins again and again.

She sits up in bed, her nightdress sticking to her. Her husband tosses in bed beside her. She smiles when she sees him. She always does. But then she remembers what haunts her dreams and the secret she keeps.

Just then John sits up beside her, fully awake now.

"Delenn, honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong John. Go back to sleep."

He raises one of his expressive eyebrows. "And here was me thinking Minbari didn't lie. I can tell something is bothering you. You might as well tell me."

She hesitates, thinking about answering. To do so would tell him of her great mistake and risk loosing him. Not answering would keep her secret safe but it would continue to eat at her. She was scared. _Not scared, _she tells herself,_ just wary and unsure of the consequences. _

The look on his face is so loving and accepting that her decision is made for her. After all he had told her of his previous marriage and their love had survived. This was just the same, wasn't it?

He smiles reassuringly at her and, haltingly, she begins to speak.

* * *

A/N: there is might be more to come but I've really got to study now. Feedback would be nice. 


	2. Chapter two

Chapter 2

Disclaimers: they're not mine

A/N I realise this has taken a while but this is finally finished. It is amazing the lengths I will go to avoid revising. Hope it is ok.

* * *

He sits quietly as she slowly explains her part in the war. He rises and stands on the sweeping balcony that adjoins their bedroom. He stays there, quietly, thinking things through.

After an eternity he returns.

"You loved him didn't you?"

Delenn sits shocked, that wasn't one of the responses that she had considered.

"He was my mentor, I looked up to him, I suppose," she pauses "loved him."

The look in his eyes tells her that he knows the truth.

"Yes, all right, I loved him." She says exasperatedly, eager to get this over with. He moves beside her on the bed and puts his arms around her.

He whispers, "I remember when those Nightwatch bastards took you prisoner. You took that knife for me. I remember you lying in my arms, the look of shock on your face. I wanted to kill them. I would have if Susan hadn't stopped me. If you had died, no one would have been able to stop me." He pauses, lost in his own thoughts. He shudders and looks back at her, gently cupping her face so she looks at him. "I can't imagine what I would have done if you had died. No one in your situation would have been in their right mind, you can't blame yourself.

She jumps off the bed and out of his arms. "That's no excuse" she replies heatedly. She stalks off out onto the balcony, with him on her heels. He spins her round.

"You forgave everyone else including David MacIntyre! Why not yourself?"

"Because they were following orders while I was the one giving them!"

He throws his hands up in the air and asks "Why did you tell me?"

She pauses, "I wanted to tell you"

"Delenn" he says warningly.

"I couldn't live with it anymore!"

"Then that's what the nightmares were about?"

"Yes"

He quietens and takes her in his arms again. "You thought it was an act of war and you reacted accordingly. We all do things in times of war that we regret. No buts Delenn. Look how many lives you have saved, made better since then."

She is quiet as she considers his thoughts. "That doesn't make it any better."

"I know. But we all have to live with our mistakes and learn from them. Just remember that I love you." He whispers the last part in her ear and she leans against him, taking comfort in his presence. They both stare out into the sunrise, their hands joined over the new life that lies within her rounded belly.


End file.
